You are the only one that can re-write your life

SATC

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:57:55 GMT

Im a huge fan of the show.

I thought the movie was excellent. :)

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:23:41 GMT

I need male companionship.

The end.

oh yeah.. here I am

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:28:41 GMT

happy freakin valentines

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:22:36 GMT

So I moved home. Got here January 7th. As soon as I got out of my car my mom told me my cousin Michael was killed overseas. I literally sat down right there in the middle of the driveway and lost it. He was 36 and it was his first time being there. Major Michael Green. Google his name and you will get a million results. then it was drug out for two weeks b/c it took a while to get him back here to the states. The funeral was one of the most moving things Ive ever seen. The people standing on the side of hwy 90 for miles and miles holding flags waving to us. That made me cry harder than the funeral did. I miss him.

The move home was an emotional one. I left a boyfriend behind. I thought he was a good one. Apparently I was wrong. One day the phone calls stopped and I havent heard from him in a week now aside from some confusing texts saying how much he cares for me but hates himself. I was almost to the point of getting in my car and driving there today. But why.. why chase down someone and make them explain this to me. He could just as easily pick up a phone and call me. I have the WORST luck with guys.

I started working at Chevron (pascagoula refinery) a month ago. I love my job. I work in the purchasing department. Everyone has treated me wonderfully. I moved in my new house. Im renting.. but it was my grandparents house. The house my real dad grew up in. Its a HUGE yard and everything in the house is BRAND NEW. So I have some positive and some negative. Im trying to be optimistic.

ugh. happy freakin valentines. Now that m home maybe I will actually be able to run into some of you.. I havent seen you guys in years. literally.

Im moving home

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:25:52 GMT

Ill be there in less than a month

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:53:23 GMT

I climbed under the covers last night and I smelled you. Then I started to realize how much you are still there. Your towel in the corner. Your glass of water ont he nightstand. Your page still marked in your book.

Today is a hard day. I want this to go away.

I have a new goal

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 19:17:00 GMT

I want to come home and have always said that.. but due to recent events I made a decision.. but I do not want it to be a rash one so.. I am giving myself around 10 tp 11 months and I want to move home. Next summer. I will have been at this job for a year.. seth will be out of school. that gives me enough time to save.. and plan and make the most of everything I have not done int he last 2 years that I have lived here. I want to take a ghost tour, a carriage tour, one of the mansion tours. any tour of any place I can. Its time to venture out of my pretected bubble of summerville that I live in. I havent even been to myrtle beach yet!

pics of seth and yesterday

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 14:18:40 GMT

He is so big now isn't he!?
The rest of the pics are under a my space photo album named pete's bbq. Go see! :)

Hope you all had a great weekend.

People confuse me

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 13:39:21 GMT

I dont understand why people say things to others just to hurt them. To say mean and unecessary things to someone closest to them, for no other reason but than to bring them down. What did that person do? Nothing serious, nothing at all really, so why push them down and kick them while they are there?It makes me sad when I watch people do stuff like that. Just tear someone apart when they dont deserve it. Sometimes I would like to ask "why do you think you are better than they are? What gives you the right to treat anyone that way?"
People around here drink too much, and Im no Saint but I know my limits and I know I dont black out and it doesnt make me mean. I love this place and I am thankful for my friends but that is one huge downfall of being here. People drink WAY too much. the bar takes priority over things it shouldnt. It sucks.

I need a few says at home. I have been here since Feb. and that time wasn't well spent while I was at home. Two days went by way to fast. That's a stretch for me to go that long without a 4 - 5 day trip home. Thanksgiving will probably be my next trip. It sucks tho because when I go home - I know certain things have changed. I messed up a few things.. a few really important things close to me that I have been thinking about a lot lately. and I want to make it right butI dont know if I can. Home doesnt feel the same without her. Them. Us as a team.

"Sometimes it just wasn't meant to be"

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:27:25 GMT

That's such a hard pill to swallow. Ups and downs and ins and outs. Take a step back and ask yourself "what was the point in that if there is no hope for the future?"

Seth got home last Sunday night. Mike drove him back. I had a hard time being in the same room with Mike. Its never really bothered me like that. I almost literally pushed him back out the door. I am just really through with him and his b.s. I have contacted my laawyer and chancery court and I am filing against him for my child support. Bout time I stopped bitching and did something about it huh? Oh yeah, I bought Seth a guinea pig and named her Apple.

Summers over... Life is the same. All good things must some to an end.. BUT question is.. was it ever really good? Or was I too hopeful?

Havent updates in a while

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:08:36 GMT

I dont have anything cool to tell. Things have been pretty boring. Seth is in MS for the summer. Work is kicking my ass but it feels good. The new roomate situation is really good. I wanted to come home for my class reunion but I dont think I can take off of work. :( I dont know when I will be able to come home again. BUT I have a few visits from people from home coming up so that is something to look forward to.

Here are a few pics from Tennessee... There are more but Im @ work and they are not loaded in my phontobucket. The guy is the most recent ex - the one Ive been seeing off and on since I moved here. We are giong on 2 years now. We cant seem to actually be ex's. I wont even try to make sense of it for anyone. Its been so long since Ive actually used LJ - I forgot the cut link. Sorry guys.

and here is us on a roller coaster @ Carowinds. He is on the left and the new roomie - Amanda is on the right.

whats step 13 on the 12 step program

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 04:06:16 GMT

I am in love with a fantasy.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:56:40 GMT

BOO!

TRIP HOME!!!!

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:54:16 GMT

I posted a new blog on my myspace with pics, a video, and a story.. plus my autographs from rob and big.. I think rob is hot and I have a secret crush on him.. him and justin timberlake :)
go check it out and leave me some love
my myspace page

am I taking crazy pills?!

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:01:24 GMT

Fatguy sends me these crazy messages today and Im fucking lost. Hes telling me to stay out of his life and never talk to him again b/c I stabbed him in the back. I havent seen fatty in over a year and the last time we talked he was inviting me to his wedding.

Then sat night I see the ex making out with a girl in my face! So I asked out of respect he stop.. while I finishe my beer then Ill leave. He freaks out and starts yelling at me to leave.. then his best friend said hes acting that way b/c hes in love with me.

AM I SATAN!? OR INSANE!?! OR WHAT>?!

Is this normal?

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:42:41 GMT

Nintendo Wii is the greatest thing ever invinted.

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 15:44:50 GMT

I think I tried too soon. It was an easy but distraction to divert my attention away from you. My petty attempts failed. If there was only an easier way..

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:04:59 GMT

I miss the tiny gestures that I took for granted. The occasional poke.. or glancing in the mirror to see you glancing back. I miss the distinct sound of your call.. I miss you needing me. To say such horrible things.. I cant wrap my mind around it. Uncomfortable. Ouch. I should never look back.. Why does it hurt?

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 14:28:46 GMT

I got home from a bbq last night and the hampster had climbed back in her cage.. so my roomate about 3 friends sat there and watched her. She is squezzing herself through the bars that are a little less than an inch from each other. I couldnt believe it. I have never seen a rodent like her. She is so scandelous!

You guys never comment anymore. WTF is up with that?! TALK TO ME!

too much too much

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:29:29 GMT

Friday night friends came in town and we all hung out. Good times. Saturday night we had the murder mystery dinner which was one of the coolest things Ive ever done. I wanst the killer but I was the dead guys mistress, and his business partners mistress, and everyone elses mistress. I want to do something like that every weekend. It was a nice change..

While we were out sat night the f-ing hampster escaped again. She is the most scandelous little creature evr!! I havent seen her since then. Seth has been really worried and I had to take him to meet mike yesterday somewhere in florida and he was stressing me finding her b/c he thought she wouldnt come back. I did get some presents that my mom sent with mike. I opened them in the car. Im so bad. I cant even wait until xmas.

She gave me an external hard drive that I wanted so if my comp crashes again Ill have everything on there that I need. yaya for that. She also got me a blue jean jacket that I need to return. Its cute - for when I was in high school. Im sad that Ill be alone xmas but Ive had invitations from everyone to go with their families which is cool.

The ex and I are getting along pretty well. We've spent this weekend together b/c we were invited to do this murder dinner thing together a month ago.. and we pretty much share all of the same friends.. he even wants to exchange presents and for me to go with him on xmas.. but Im a bit hesitant. I dont want to fall into the same routine. Im trying to keep my mind right.

I have somehow managed to plan this huge xmas dnner xmas night with all of our friends. So far the response has been great!! Im excited to see how it turns out and an old friend Bobby said he wants to drive up and stay with me on xmas. If b-bob does come I will be stoked.

OK - I guess thats enough randomness for now.. Im hungry and its close to lunch.

its really crazy

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 17:37:51 GMT

to go back to my old journal entries from 02 and 03 and to realize that I am still the same person. My faults and insecurities have not changed.. but at least I have grown as a person. I am older and wiser.. but wow. It strange to take a trip down memory lane.

I have been wondering a lot lately if people will ever go back and realize their mistakes.. or would they even view their actions now as a mistake in the future? Will someone ever think - what Im doing right now will eventually be the downfall of something that could have been my future? A wonderful future that I have just stepped over as if it were a limb in my path. Do people realize how wasteful they can be? Its sad to watch someone knowingly and carelessly throw something/someone away as if they were useless scraps.

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 13:49:32 GMT

It's so cold here today. It's already snowing in North Charleston. I hear it will be here in a few hours. There is already snow mmixed in with the rain.

I am starting to get sick the day before I leave to go to MS. My throat hurts and Im coughing. :(

I hate the DRIVE home. I wish I could snap my fingers and be there.

I havent updated in a while

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 16:58:56 GMT

My birthday was great. Everyone here went above and beyond making me feel loved. A lot of people cale out with me and I got tons of presents which I didnt expect at all. Work even surprised with me with a cake and flowers. The ex b/f gave me a dz roses and took me out to dinner too.

I leave wed morning to go home for thanksgiving. I want to go home but Im not looking forward to the trip. I have so much to do.. and I dont have the motivation to do any of it. I dont know if its me or this place but its starting ot wear me down. I think I am depressed or on my way there soon. Maybe its the situation with the recent ex and I. I cant really pinpoint it but I think that is a huge factor. I try a lot and and maybe I expect to much in return. I do know that it hurts and Im tired of feeling it. I dont even want to go out these days. I enjoy watching tv more than being social.

I met a med student friday night who seemed really interested in me. A friend was trying to play match maker but my heart was not in it. I blew him off. He was VERY attractive too. What is wrong with me?!! I found his number last night and text him apologizging for the shortness. He says he will call soon so we can try to get together. I hope he does. What do I have to lose right?

PS

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 15:25:19 GMT

Happy Birthday Christina!!

In general

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 19:47:24 GMT

sometimes I really despise people.